"The Day You Find Your Parents' Dildo Will Be the Worst Day of Your Life" by Kate Nace in McSweeney's

You’re no conservative mossback—you’ve been to an orgy! Surely your legs aren’t welded at the knee. You lived in Berlin! You fucked a dentist. Whatever mindless gorging and fumbling your parents choose to engage in should be of no emotional consequence to you, right? Read piece here.