"Open-Minded Man Grimly Realizes How Much Life He's Wasted Listening To Bullshit" in The Onion

A visibly stunned and solemn Richman, who until this point regarded his willingness to hear out the opinions of others as a worthwhile quality, estimated that he's wasted nearly three and a half years of his existence being open to people's half-formed thoughts, asinine suggestions, and pointless, dumbfuck stories. Read piece here.